Deconstruction
by Onileo
Summary: After the Akatsuki base is thrown into chaos, Deidara, Kisame and Kisho OC has a contest to see who has the best jutsu, with Hinata as the judge. Slight KisaHina. Rated for moderate language.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Deconstruction

Hinata shook her head sadly at the men in front of her. Well, they were supposed to be men anyway. At the moment they reminded her more of fighting toddlers than adults. Kisho stood off to her left, glaring angrily, fists clenched. Deidara was sitting beside of her, arms crossed, pouting. Kisame, who loved any kind of fight, was facing all three of them, instigating the whole argument.

"Well, I guess you two Earth pansies just proved my point" Kisame taunted.

"Like Hell, yeah!" Deidara shouted.

"Hardly." Kisho answered in a low angry tone. His shaggy, crimson hair covered his eyes, the black tips brushing his tanned jawline. Hinata knew her partner was very angry and on the verge of attacking Kisame. She groaned. So much for a quiet afternoon out.

It had all started back at the base. Pein hadn't had any mission for anyone today, so everyone was there. About midmorning, boredom had set in. The disaster began in the living room.

"Deidara-sempai?"

Deidara released an irritated sigh. "What do you want, Tobi?"

"Let's play chess!" Tobi suggested happily.

"No."

"C'mon, please?" Tobi whined.

"No." He was in no mood to deal with Tobi today.

"Aww, why not?"

Deidara's face turned red with anger. "Because I spend enough time with you, yeah! Leave me alone!" he shouted.

Tobi pouted. "Sempai's no fun." There was silence in the room for about two minutes.

"Deidara-sempai?"

Deidara ground his teeth. "What now, Tobi?"

"Let's play pool!"

Deidara opened his mouth to yell at Tobi for being an idiot, but was interrupted by Itachi, who had been sitting on the couch, reading.

"Shut the hell up, both of you." he said in a deadly voice.

"But he started it!" Deidara yelled, pointing at Tobi.

"Now." Itachi said, activating his Sharingan.

Upstairs, the chaos continued. Hinata had come out of the bedroom that she shared with Kisame to see what was happening downstairs, accidentally bumping into Hidan in the process.

"Seriously, bitch, watch where you're going!" he said loudly, glaring at her. Hinata blushed and stepped back.

"I'm s-sorry." she said quietly.

About two seconds later an enraged Kisame emerged from the bedroom, sidestepping Hinata and punching Hidan in the face. The force of the blow sent him flying backward into Kisho, who had just emerged from his own bedroom down the hall. They landed in a heap in the floor.

"What the hell?" Kisho shouted, surprised. "Get off me right now, Hidan." he said angrily.

Hidan jumped to his feet and charged Kisame, who was waiting eagerly for the return attack. Hidan was nearly to him when a shout from downstairs made him freeze in his tracks.

"Enough!" Pein's voice rang through the house. "Get your asses over here now!"

Hinata made her way downstairs, followed closely by Kisame. Kisho followed him, grumbling, and Hidan brought up the rear. Pein was standing in the doorway of the living room, arms folded across his chest, looking quite pissed. Deidara stood in front of him, pouting. Tobi was hiding behind Deidara and Itachi looked on impassively from his seat on the couch. When everyone had gathered, Pein glared at them.

"Zetsu and I are trying to plan out our next strategy, but we can't even think for all the damn noise!" he said, voice getting louder as he went. "Itachi, play chess with Tobi. The rest of you get the hell out of here until tonight. Don't come back unless you are dying or have in your possession one of the tailed demons. Now go." he ordered, before turning around and disappearing into the other room.

Hidan went back upstairs to grab his cloak and scythe, then he left, slamming the door behind him. Hinata suggested the rest of them head to the nearby lake for an impromptu picnic. Having nothing better in mind, everyone else agreed to go. She went to the kitchen to throw together a quick lunch, then they set out.

The picnic was going well, until Kisame produced the bottles of sake he had grabbed on the way out the door. "To go with lunch" he had said with a grin. Now the bottles were empty and everyone was more than a little tipsy. Hinata refrained more than the others, but her head was still buzzy, and she felt quite warm. She sat listening to the others boasting about why their construct jutsu was the best of the three there. Boasting turned into outright arguing, until Kisho was pissed, Deidara was pouting and Kisame was acting like a bully. He had challenged them to fight, and when they refused, started taunting them.

Unable to handle anymore conflict, Hinata stood. She quietly walked up to Kisame, who immediately turned his attention to her. "I h-have an idea." she said. "Each of you are best in a different element. Deidara has his birds, Kisho his land animals and you have your sharks. W-why don't you just have a contest to see if the other two can create something that can defeat the one t-that is already in it's element? T-then, if one of you wins all three, you can boast about h-having the best jutsu." Hinata suddenly realized that she had barely stuttered at all. '_Must be the sake.'_ she thought with an inward giggle.

Kisame grinned, displaying his sharp teeth. "Works for me. What about it, pretty boys? You up to getting your asses kicked?"

Kisho folded his tanned arms across his chest. "Of course I'll do it."

"I'm in, yeah." Deidara said with a maniacal smile. "It'll be a blast!"

Hinata walked back over to Deidara and sat down. "So, which one are we doing first?" he asked.

Hinata thought a moment then answered. "L-let's do water, then land, then air. I w-want to be well out of the way when things start f-falling out of the sky." That made Deidara grin.

Hinata watched as Kisame and Deidara made their way to the center of the lake. Kisho stood on the shore. He closed his golden eyes and concentrated. The chakra emanating from him thickened and condensed. He opened his eyes and began performing hand seals. Hinata couldn't see them, but she knew that his eyes were glowing with his enhanced chakra. She felt the familiar tremble of the earth beneath her as Kisho drew rocks and boulders to him for his jutsu. He extended his hand and touched the closest rock, pouring chakra into it. The rocks slowly began to mold into the shape of two large sea turtles.

Finished, Kisho withdrew and brought his hands together in front of his chest. He began walking out onto the water, his turtles following closely behind him. In front of him, Deidara had molded his clay into four large eels, which were currently wrapped around his arms. Kisame was kneeling on the surface, with his palm on the water. Hinata activated her Byakugan to watch what was happening underwater. She saw Kisame's five chakra sharks circling slowly beneath them.

"O.K., go!" she shouted. At her signal, Kisho's turtles slid beneath the surface. Deidara dropped two of the eels at his feet, watching as they sunk under the water, swimming away from him. Hinata watched Kisame's sharks head toward their prey. The lead shark grabbed one of the eels. Smirking, Deidara brought a hand up to his face.

"Katsu!" he yelled. The eel in the shark's mouth expanded and exploded, obliterating both constructs. Using the distraction, one of the turtles grabbed a shark by the tail and headed toward the bottom of the lake. Pinning the shark to the bottom with it's massive weight, the turtle began ripping chunks out of the shark with it's beak. On the surface, Deidara dropped another eel into the water.

Kisame grinned as an idea came to him. He made one of the three remaining sharks swim in a slow circle around the turtle and eels close to the surface. In a sudden charge, the shark grabbed the closest eel and slammed into the turtle as Deidara made it explode. The water sloshed around their feet from the force of the released chakra. Deidara and Kisho both glared at him. Kisame smirked. The blast had managed to take out both of the eels in the water. That left two sharks, one eel and one turtle.

The turtle at the bottom of the lake began to rise back to the fray. It had finally managed to sever the head of the captured shark, rendering it useless. When it neared, Deidara dropped his last eel into the water. Kisame's sharks were circling wide, waiting. One suddenly slowed it's speed, waiting until the other shark caught up. Back together, the sharks charged the last eel. Deidara raised his hand. If he timed it just right, he could take them all out. The eel swam closer to the turtle, sharks close behind it.

"Katsu!" he said triumphantly, just as the constructs collided. The water swirled around them. He looked over at Kisame. He was grinning too. Hinata smiled. At the last second, Kisame had pulled one of the sharks away from the group, and with a burst of speed, had avoided the explosion. He had won that round. When Deidara realized what had happened, he cursed. Kisho said nothing, simply headed back to shore to get ready for the next bout.

Kisame stayed at the edge of the lake while the other two stood on the shore. Kisho repeated the process for his jutsu, this time producing four stone bears. Kisame used the water from the lake to form four wolves. Deidara molded some clay into a dozen large centipedes. Seeing that they were ready, Hinata gave the signal to start.

The second battle was over fairly quickly. Kisame's wolves were easily overpowered by the bears. They were quick and strong, but couldn't break through the dense stone of Kisho's constructs. Deidara's centipedes fared a little better, but managed to only take the legs off of two of the bears. After ten minutes of crashing around and raising an enormous cloud of dust, Kisho stood smirking, victorious.

By this time, Kisho and Deidara were beginning to tire. Kisho, having the lowest chakra reserve, was panting. Deidara had beads of sweat on his forehead. Kisame looked completely unaffected. With his massive amount of chakra, he could fight all day and not run low. But they were all determined to finish, even though by now it was obvious there wouldn't be a clear winner.

Hinata stood and moved back from where she had been sitting. The next battle was sure to be interesting. She watched as the next batch of weapons came to life. Deidara produced one of his signature birds. Kisho had gathered a large amount of dust and very small pebbles. He infused his chakra into the mass to make a giant cloud. It didn't really have a form, it was just a swirling mass of debris. Kisame summoned a tower of water and jumped to the top, waiting.

The bird took off, flying in a circle around the group. Deidara stayed on the ground this time, to control the bird from a better vantage point. Kisho's cloud pursued the bird. Kisame hadn't made a move yet, just stood there watching carefully. As the clay bird came closer to him, he started forming hand seals. "Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu." he shouted. The top of the tower of water split into three, two forming the heads of a shark and the other still holding the shark nin steady.

One of the shark missiles launched forward, slamming into one of the wings of Deidara's bird just as the earth cloud destroyed the one on the other side. Moving erratically, the bird began to dive toward the earth. As it fell, the cloud disengaged, pulling back. The water missile was destroyed on contact.

"Ha!" Kisho shouted. Deidara just smirked. Raising a hand to form a seal, he grinned.

"Katsu!" he shouted.

Hinata braced herself for the explosion. It never came. Looking up after a moment, she saw that the bird had sprouted a new set of wings and was climbing steadily back up in the air. The new wings were longer and thinner. _'Harder to hit that way.'_ she thought. She glanced over at Kisame to see what he was doing. He was still waiting patiently for the other constructs to draw closer. Still grinning, Deidara made the bird swoop by the the lake with its improved speed.

Kisame just glared at him and waited for the next opportunity. By the time the bird came around again, Kisho's cloud was moving in on the opposite side. Launching his last shark missile, Kisame watched closely to see what happened. Just as it passed overhead, the bird swooped low, dodging both attacks. Water collided with the cloud, causing it to clump into splotches of mud. Losing the ability to float, the mass started raining down, covering Deidara and Kiso completely.

The bird landed a few yard away. Grinning but dirty, Deidara made his way back over to Hinata and plopped down, followed by a less than pleased Kisho. Kisame walked up shortly after and sat behind her, pulling her into his lap. Kisho wiped the mud off his face and looked at his partner.

"Why did we do this again?" he asked.

"Tobi w-wanted to play chess." she replied.

"Speaking of my annoying partner," Deidara cut in looking at the sun sinking in the sky "It's about time to head back, yeah. Itachi's probably gonna be pissed that we left him to play chess for so long."

"Alright, let's get going then." Kisame agreed. They all stood back up after resting a few more moments. Hinata gathered up the remains of the picnic and handed them to Kisame. Then the group headed back to the base. They met Hidan just outside the front door. He was covered in blood and had a satisfied look on his face.

"You look like you had a good evening, yeah." Deidara remarked sarcastically.

"You look like shit, seriously." Hidan replied, taking in his muddy associate. Hinata just shook her head and walked inside to put everything up and head back to her room, wondering if she should have ever left it in the first place.

The End


End file.
